Archives for category: The Ex Boyfriend

This afternoon I went to visit a psychic.

I  suppose I should have established that I am not a crazy person before I dropped that into post number 3 of my blog. But I am not ashamed of it because it’s the best money I’ve spent in my life.

How does this fit into being aloveinlondon? Well I didn’t expect it to, until the first ‘energy’ she picked up was relationships, particular the “disappointing” role a particular one has played in my life.

I suppose this is the opportune time to bring up the dreaded story of my ex-boyfriend. I won’t give him a secret name, because he doesn’t really deserve one. I am also optimistic that this will be the last post I have to write about him (famous last words). So let me tell you, very briefly about the story of Jules…
Boy sees girl. Boys likes girl. Boy facebooks girl (oh come on, it’s the 21st century right?). Girl ignores boy. Girl’s boss bigs up boy. Girl not interested. Boy starts calling girl (thanks boss). Boy texts girl. Boy gives final facebook plea to girl. Girl takes pity on boy and meets boy for a drink. Girl falls for boy (there were many wonderful dates in between, it’s not that easy). Girl feels wonderful and stable with boy who adores her. Girls tells boy he’s amazing. Boy tells girl… He’s not over his ex girlfriend. CRASH BOOM POW! There we have it, the first emotional explosion that shattered what was really quite a lovely love story.

If only that was the end of it. That would be enough for most people. This is where the romantic ideallists differ from your regular girls. So certain was I that Jules was right for me. So shocked was I that this man who whisked me off my feet was having doubts (how dare he), that I decided to wait by his side. In fact, I encouraged him to face his ex girlfriend (an actress from New York) and next thing he was off on a plane to New York to see for himself that perfect Kate (real name) was nothing but nostalgia. In the mean time I sit and listen to Mumford & Sons’ album Sigh No More, and Ellie Goulding‘s album Lights – two albums that sum up my feelings at the time more perfectly than any words will ever be able to (and both still my favourite albums, but I digress!).

And sure enough *cue Halleluja music*, a few horrible months later, and we are reunited, and he thanks me for my understanding, and is assured that what we have really is greater than he ever had with Kate. … FINALLY ♥ ! … and then two weeks later he was cheating on me with a supermodel whilst in South Africa. Crash! Boom! Pow! … and you only find out months later after tortuing yourself as he’s closed off to you, and so you do the crazy phone detective thing that no girl ever likes to admit to doing, or want to do, and you discover he’s texting said supermodel and arranging to fly her to London and then to Paris for the weekend. POW!
It wasn’t so much the story of infidelity that shattered my confidence. It wasn’t even the year and a half this pitiful (one-sided) love story dragged on for that drained me. It was all the words, and all the put downs, whilst he tried to find out who and what he wanted, that left me feeling completely and utterly deflated. Being told by the man who you perceive to be the love of your life that you (and I quote) just don’t stimulate him enough intellectually. Being told that you are better than… well actually everything that makes up your life. Which in reality means that your job, your friends, your hobbies, actually everything about YOU is just not good enough.

How does that make you feel? It makes you feel, no, it makes you BELIEVE, that YOU are just not good enough. And how do you pick yourself up from that?

Well according to the psychic (she’s called Katie Winterbourne and is absolutely divine, I would recommend her to any of you based in London), you are left not really knowing who are you. You are left “introducing yourself without knowing you are introducting the person to”. You are left sad and angry. But let’s not forget that I am very PROUD. So this is all kept very very low beneath the surface, and on the outside I am vibrant, and on it, and energetic! And well, that’s exhausting. And you can’t expect someone to know you when you can’t even show them who YOU are. So they project an image of you onto you, that either you don’t want to be, or you just aren’t. And you EXPLODE! And, in 50 beautiful minutes, Katie Winterbourne allowed me to say goodbye to the anxiety, and the heartache, and the self-indulgence of Jules.

And that’s HUGE!

It huge for me, dear readers, which means it’s huge for you too. Because finally I have let go. And that means that life is about to start. And according to the lovely and magical Katie Winterbourne, it WILL end with me falling in love. And it will involve a ski resort (I don’t ski!). And that means, that aloveinlondon has just become a very, very exciting adventure… and it’s still only Day 1! :-)

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I suppose the name and caption of this blog would suggest I am trying to start a dating site. Well I suppose that would be convenient, but it’s certainly not my intention.

I don’t quite know where to begin, so I will just give the facts. I’m a 25 year old lady (I still feel like I should say girl) living in London, and well, I’ve been single since my ex cheated on me nearly a year and a half ago.

Cry me a river, I know.

Why do I feel the need to write about it? Well, because I’ve always been attractive (I promise you I’m not arrogant), and I just can’t find any nice guys in London. So I presume I’m not the only one and so MAYBE people will relate to what I write about, maybe some of you might care about it. Let’s see.

Why aloveinlondon? Well, let’s just say there’s all to often a feeling that the V gets turned upsidedown into a rather depressing N (it does look like an N upsidedown right? Not in this font maybe but it does!). And that’s what this blog is about. The Highs (the V days) and the Lows (the N days).

I will go back into my dark, and let’s be honest, partially embarrassing ex-boyfriend/lover history, and also take you with me in my love adventures, and also share my thoughts about my future (and I can get really far ahead of myself way too quickly). Will I fall head over heels and stop writing? Hopefully. The most likely scenario? I’ll end up in my mid-thirties, and be London’s answer to Carrie Bradshaw – and definitely not as fabulous!  But you’ll see me every step of the way.

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